Jokes, marriage, and dismantling my tragedy story
A check-in, and some funnies...
Quick Check-in
I’m keeping this brief.
I’ve put together All‑Star Joke Collection 2 — a curated set of jokes and comics I’ve been collecting over the years. If you enjoy my writing at all, this is a lighter touch.
👉 Read the All‑Star Joke Collection 2
What follows is the short personal update that feels worth sharing.
My marriage update, and what I’m learning
To begin, my life has been completely upended by the completion of my memoir, Broke, Single, Crazy and Old. Twenty years in the writing, this marks the real beginning of my professional author career: my first book which can be read as spiritual and psychological entertainment. I wrote about this in the prior article, An Invitation into a Story About Love, Obsession, and Becoming Yourself. Completing the memoir coincides with what appears to be, a complete re-write of what Sophie calls my “tragedy story”. This is what is present to me now, as I write. It’s nothing other than a consciousness explosion, with tangible impacts in my world-engagements, happiness and income.
It does seem that my life has moved into the fast lane over the last four months. That’s exciting; but for someone with bipolar tendencies, also a little scary…
Happiness is not a familiar experience to me
As I say in the memoir—in the chapter On life’s “epochs,” or developmental cycles (also published to the substack)—I’ve been throwing my stuff at the world for forty‑odd years, and the response has been a fairly consistent, “No, sorry, not that.”
But now, finally, the world seems to be offering a quiet “yes.” It’s whispering to me, at last: I like that. I am oddly content and at peace.
It’s impossible for me to communicate the impact of all these events. I just hope I am not having a bipolar break. Given my story that I am a bit crazy, I have to take a pause. I call myself an “idiot savant”, by the way. But this phrase does have “savant” in it.
The best of all: my marriage, and what I am learning
Sophie and I have moved into a new phase together. This is actually what I’m most grateful for. 18 months in, this improbable relationship appears to be successful. God is great.
I adore her, and still can’t quite believe my good luck in having found her. We started under challenging circumstances, both logistical (I needed permanent residence in Germany) and relational. Not all problems are resolved, but the potential deal‑breaker problems are. We’re in a very sweet space together now, even as real challenges remain.
What I am learning through Sophie and through the various AR groups that I am engaged with (especially our peer group of 5 which has been meeting regularly now for 1 1/2 years, and our on-the-ground groups in Berlin), is that I am not such a fuck-up as I imagine myself to be. Yes, I do make mistakes. Sometimes bad ones. But I grow from them. Most importantly, I can see now that I have the capacity for deep human connection, which is ultimately the only thing I care about. I do not feel anywhere near as alone as I used to feel.
Another thing that has become apparent, is my extraordinary ability to treat as true, the things that I want to believe. And how I isolate myself when I have such an idea (refuse feedback and proceed unilaterally). This may be a bipolar trait, I don’t know. All of the biggest mistakes I have made in my life, financial and relational, can be directly traced back to that trait.
I’ve learned that my wife is central in that way. I am finding myself ever more deeply surrendered. To her and to life. But it is still a journey (for me, the journey of embodiment). Much work still remains.
A special thanks to you, my friends and readers
This list originally began as a list for my friends. Many of you have known me for a long time. I’d like us now to celebrate together.
And know that I still think and care for many of you, even if I have not recently been in touch.
And now, the fun part
👉 Read the All‑Star Joke Collection 2
(Also remember I am still looking for test-readers for the memoir. Just reply to this email or write to marco@marcbeneteau.com )