An Invitation into a Story About Love, Obsession and Becoming Yourself
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I have an important announcement: I’ve just finished the final edit of my magnum opus, a book that has been 20 years in the making. It’s a memoir called Broke, Single, Crazy and Old: The Redemption of a Sex and Love Addict.
It is the story, in all its beauty and wreckage, of my lifelong pursuit of redemption through deep sexual loving. And of the women who helped me (some would say “enabled”). Two of them in particular, whose beautiful letters are included, allowing you to know the hearts and minds of these two extraordinary women in their own words, and to see how they related to the relational idiot I was at the time.
This memoir isn’t about self‑improvement or spiritual instruction; although it does include the story of my primary mentor whose name is Victor Baranco, and whose ideas were ahead of their time.
No, it’s about what happens when you pursue your daemon into the darker places, leaving (as I did) a trail of relational destruction behind. Amazingly, this strategy actually worked for me, as I am now very happily married.
The book is finally complete, and this marks a genuine inflection point in my career as a professional writer.
Why This Story Might Matter to You
If you’ve ever stayed too long in a relationship that appeared to be destroying you, wondered if your life had value, or struggled with relationships and mental health issues, you may relate to my story. I do believe that my story has human interest, but it’s not just about me. I actually consider my life and my trials as fractals of the current “meaning crisis”, our collective struggle to find meaning and fulfillment. The path I chose – rightly or wrongly – was through sexual intimacy.
Between 1993 and 1999, I was caught in a love triangle that unraveled my mental health, distorted my sense of reality, and forced me to confront addiction and dependency. But from this, I grew into the man I am today.
The final chapters trace how meaning and sanity returned, the role of my writing, and deeper reflections on the arc of my life and what I call “epochs”. I try and communicate the things which, if I had known them 30 years ago, might have saved me and others a lot of grief. If you want to read that chapter, I have published it separately in the article On life’s “Epochs” or developmental cycles.
Why I’m Inviting You In
I want feedback and reflections from real readers. I’ve just completed a final substantive edit of this book after years of rewriting, cutting, and tightening. If you choose to read this book now, you’re helping ensure that a story about obsession, love, neurodivergence, and redemption lands with the force and care it deserves—so that when it reaches a wider audience, it speaks clearly and cleanly.
If you’d like to be part of this, I’ll send you a free Kindle copy, or a print copy if you’re willing to share a mailing address. Simply reply to this email, or write to me at marco@marcbeneteau.com. You’re welcome (not obligated) to tell me how it lands. And if you genuinely feel that the book deserves to be read, an honest Amazon review helps it find the people who are wrestling with the same questions.
If You’d Rather Just Read It
That’s welcome too. If you prefer to support the project directly, you can also just purchase the book here.
How This Fits with my Other Books
I have previously published two books:
As Lovers Do: Sexual and Romantic Partnership as a Path of Transformation was my first book, completed about 10 years ago. It talks about the sexual teachers who have been important to me (including Baranco), and is (I would like to think) a “crash course” in feminine psychology, targeted to men. It has earned me a small fan club, partly because I had a wonderful editor (God Bless you, John Kelsey).
My second book, The Circling Guide, is now in a major expansion / re-write as well, through a successful crowd-funding project. The goal there is to position me as a thought-leader within the Authentic Relating movement. If you are interested in Authentic Relating, a $10-25 donation there will get you the new Circling Guide Anthology when it’s published, and also support the movement.
The other books are very synergistic with the memoir, but Broke Single Crazy and Old is my favorite. I hope you like it.
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